I was thinking about what is important to me this morning. I have a tendency to take everything a little too seriously (as you can read about here) so I was sorting in my mind what I treat like a priority. The answer is nothing.
I would love to say that my children are a priority, but if I have something else I want to do, I make no little effort to go out of my way for them. My business? Nope, I am really not interested in putting in effort to make it work. My body? If a diet lasts through the week I am lucky.
Some would call this laziness or narcissism, I know that is not what is going on. It is a problem I have struggled with my whole life but was only diagnosed at 25. I have ADHD.
It is hard to explain to someone without ADHD how hard it is to stay on track with a long term project. My poor husband tries, but I can see his frustration. My step father used to mercilessly tease me about it. Employers refused to tolerate it.
So here I am with hobbies, things that I can flow in and out of my main interest. It is fine as long as things get done but the guilt is still there. How can I expect to make any headway with anything if I can’t give it my all for more than a week? I am exaggerating, of course, but you get the idea.
I really try to accept this in my children so that they don’t have the same complex about it as myself. Oh, did I not mention both my children have ADHD? My poor husband. My daughter takes a lot longer to do everything and my son swings wildly from interest to interest. They both know that their disorder makes these things “normal” for them but that I expect them to put in effort to compensate when necessary. That means school, I rarely ask them to control it at home. My poor husband.
I need to accept this disorder within myself the way I have for my children. I need to make that a priority. HA! That will last a week.