Every once in awhile I feel like I might be a creative person. A person who is inspired with ideas. Then I have long drought or lose motivation or interest. It is incredibly frustrating.
I have tried to have this conversation with people I trust, they are supportive but I can tell they don’t get what is going on. They will remind me how talented they believe me to be. Not everyone can decide they need a new painting for a spot in their house, then go and create something beautiful to put there. Yes, I did that, once. Ok, twice; I have a painting I did that way as a kid and one as an adult.
What I think they are not understanding is that ideas are like pulling teeth. Even as a kid, thinking of things to draw or paint was incredibly difficult. I enjoyed classes because they would tell me what to do. Lack of ability was never a problem; when given a direction I could make something beautiful. To me that is like paint-by-numbers, I just followed someone else’s directions to get there.
Am I just giving myself a hard time for no good reason? Is it enough to have these moments, even if they are few and far between?
Maybe my expectations of creativity are unrealistic. I aspire to genius but get above average. Not everyone is above average and very few can be a genius. Is just being ok at something enough to make it worthwhile for me? Am I just a CRAFTSMAN and not an ARTIST?
I don’t know that I am going to even touch on an answer to this today.