My Paintings are me

Photograph by Tracey Rediker RedLincArt

I want to further discuss what I started on yesterday. My assertion was that I am not creative because my ideas are few and far between. That, on closer inspection, is not true. I have had plenty of moments of inspiration, I just abandon them when others respond negatively.

Let me explain to those of you who may not be familiar with my taste. First, take a look through the images on this website. I tend to prefer imagery that is a little dark or sad, not the kinds of things most people want to hang in their home. When you are not a famous artist, and have no community who shares your taste, it can be disheartening.

I LOVE my hand paintings. I really do. I loved making them. I have a stack of them in my basement. I have 3 on the wall. I gave one to my mother and one to my father. I have been thinking about going back to that and making more. But how many of these things do I want stacked up never seeing the light? I would rather spend my time doing other things.

When I was making these paintings, I had decided that the joy was in the process. I was painting for me. Then I had 10 of them. And the reaction I got was “why are you painting hands?” Really? And they creeped people out.

I realize that there are very few people who make a living as an artist. I am lucky that people enjoy my knitting enough to give me money for it, but my paintings are a reflection of what’s inside of me. When they reject my painting, they reject me. I don’t want money, just someone saying that they understand it or like it. And not the pretty ones that I have done as decoration, the ones that I love.

Scratch that, I want money. I want people to like my art enough to spend money on it. If someone is willing to hang it in their home and it was not cheap, they must really be affected by it.

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